The email I never got.

Thankfully:

Hey Guys! Big news... I have grown so fat I actually managed to get my HMO to pay for surgery... now I can continue to eat and lose weight... won't it be great... I have absolutely no self-control whatsoever.... I want to blame the fact that I cannot resist stuffing my face with junk... that and the fact I can’t be bothered to exert myself in the least amount to burn off some calories.